The Heart of Mid-Lothian, Volume 1 Page 9

  CHAPTER FOURTH.

  Elswhair he colde right weel lay down the law, But in his house was meek as is a daw. Davie Lindsay.

  "There has been Jock Driver the carrier here, speering about his newgraith," said Mrs. Saddletree to her husband, as he crossed histhreshold, not with the purpose, by any means, of consulting him upon hisown affairs, but merely to intimate, by a gentle recapitulation, how muchduty she had gone through in his absence.

  "Weel," replied Bartoline, and deigned not a word more.

  "And the laird of Girdingburst has had his running footman here, and ca'dhimsell (he's a civil pleasant young gentleman), to see when thebroidered saddle-cloth for his sorrel horse will be ready, for he wantsit agane the Kelso races."

  "Weel, aweel," replied Bartoline, as laconically as before.

  "And his lordship, the Earl of Blazonbury, Lord Flash and Flame, is liketo be clean daft, that the harness for the six Flanders mears, wi' thecrests, coronets, housings, and mountings conform, are no sent hameaccording to promise gien."

  "Weel, weel, weel--weel, weel, gudewife," said Saddletree, "if he gangsdaft, we'll hae him cognosced--it's a' very weel."

  "It's weel that ye think sae, Mr. Saddletree," answered his helpmate,rather nettled at the indifference with which her report was received;"there's mony ane wad hae thought themselves affronted, if sae monycustomers had ca'd and naebody to answer them but women-folk; for a' thelads were aff, as soon as your back was turned, to see Porteous hanged,that might be counted upon; and sae, you no being at hame"

  "Houts, Mrs. Saddletree," said Bartoline, with an air of consequence,"dinna deave me wi' your nonsense; I was under the necessity of beingelsewhere--_non omnia_--as Mr. Crossmyloof said, when he was called bytwo macers at once--_non omnia possumus--pessimus--possimis_--I ken ourlaw-latin offends Mr. Butler's ears, but it means, Naebody, an it werethe Lord President himsell, can do twa turns at ance."

  "Very right, Mr. Saddletree," answered his careful helpmate, with asarcastic smile; "and nae doubt it's a decent thing to leave your wife tolook after young gentlemen's saddles and bridles, when ye gang to see aman, that never did ye nae ill, raxing a halter."

  "Woman," said Saddletree, assuming an elevated tone, to which the_meridian_ had somewhat contributed, "desist,--I say forbear, fromintromitting with affairs thou canst not understand. D'ye think I wasborn to sit here brogging an elshin through bend-leather, when sic men asDuncan Forbes, and that other Arniston chield there, without mucklegreater parts, if the close-head speak true, than mysell maun bepresidents and king's advocates, nae doubt, and wha but they? Whereas,were favour equally distribute, as in the days of the wight Wallace"

  "I ken naething we wad hae gotten by the wight Wallace," said Mrs.Saddletree, "unless, as I hae heard the auld folk tell, they fought inthae days wi' bend-leather guns, and then it's a chance but what, if hehad bought them, he might have forgot to pay for them. And as for thegreatness of your parts, Bartley, the folk in the close-head* maun kenmair about them than I do, if they make sic a report of them."

  * [_Close-head,_ the entrance of a blind alley.]

  "I tell ye, woman," said Saddletree, in high dudgeon, "that ye kennaething about these matters. In Sir William Wallace's days there was naeman pinned down to sic a slavish wark as a saddler's, for they got onyleather graith that they had use for ready-made out of Holland."

  "Well," said Butler, who was, like many of his profession, something of ahumorist and dry joker, "if that be the case, Mr. Saddletree, I think wehave changed for the better; since we make our own harness, and onlyimport our lawyers from Holland."

  "It's ower true, Mr. Butler," answered Bartoline, with a sigh; "if I hadhad the luck--or rather, if my father had had the sense to send me toLeyden and Utrecht to learn the Substitutes and Pandex"

  "You mean the Institutes--Justinian's Institutes, Mr. Saddletree?" saidButler.

  "Institutes and substitutes are synonymous words, Mr. Butler, and usedindifferently as such in deeds of tailzie, as you may see in Balfour'sPractiques, or Dallas of St. Martin's Styles. I understand these thingspretty weel, I thank God but I own I should have studied in Holland."

  "To comfort you, you might not have been farther forward than you arenow, Mr. Saddletree," replied Mr. Butler; "for our Scottish advocates arean aristocratic race. Their brass is of the right Corinthian quality, and_Non cuivis contigit adire Corinthum_--Aha, Mr. Saddletree?"

  "And aha, Mr. Butler," rejoined Bartoline, upon whom, as may be wellsupposed, the jest was lost, and all but the sound of the words, "ye saida gliff syne it was _quivis,_ and now I heard ye say _cuivis_ with my ainears, as plain as ever I heard a word at the fore-bar."

  "Give me your patience, Mr. Saddletree, and I'll explain the discrepancyin three words," said Butler, as pedantic in his own department, thoughwith infinitely more judgment and learning, as Bartoline was in hisself-assumed profession of the law--"Give me your patience for amoment--You'll grant that the nominative case is that by which a person orthing is nominated or designed, and which may be called the primary case,all others being formed from it by alterations of the termination in thelearned languages, and by prepositions in our modern Babylonianjargons--You'll grant me that, I suppose, Mr. Saddletree?"

  "I dinna ken whether I will or no--_ad avisandum,_ ye ken--naebody shouldbe in a hurry to make admissions, either in point of law, or in point offact," said Saddletree, looking, or endeavouring to look, as if heunderstood what was said.

  "And the dative case," continued Butler

  "I ken what a tutor dative is," said Saddletree, "readily enough."

  "The dative case," resumed the grammarian, "is that in which anything isgiven or assigned as properly belonging to a person or thing--You cannotdeny that, I am sure."

  "I am sure I'll no grant it, though," said Saddletree.

  "Then, what the _deevil_ d'ye take the nominative and the dative cases tobe?" said Butler, hastily, and surprised at once out of his decency ofexpression and accuracy of pronunciation.

  "I'll tell you that at leisure, Mr. Butler," said Saddletree, with a veryknowing look; "I'll take a day to see and answer every article of yourcondescendence, and then I'll hold you to confess or deny as accords."

  "Come, come, Mr. Saddletree," said his wife, "we'll hae nae confessionsand condescendences here; let them deal in thae sort o' wares that arepaid for them--they suit the like o' us as all as a demipique saddlewould suit a draught ox."

  "Aha!" said Mr. Butler, "_Optat ephippia bos piger,_ nothing new underthe sun--But it was a fair hit of Mrs. Saddletree, however."

  "And it wad far better become ye, Mr. Saddletree," continued hishelpmate, "since ye say ye hae skeel o' the law, to try if ye can doonything for Effie Deans, puir thing, that's lying up in the tolboothyonder, cauld, and hungry, and comfortless--A servant lass of ours, Mr.Butler, and as innocent a lass, to my thinking, and as usefu' in theshop--When Mr. Saddletree gangs out,--and ye're aware he's seldom at hamewhen there's ony o' the plea-houses open,--poor Effie used to help me totumble the bundles o' barkened leather up and down, and range out thegudes, and suit a' body's humours--And troth, she could aye please thecustomers wi' her answers, for she was aye civil, and a bonnier lasswasna in Auld Reekie. And when folk were hasty and unreasonable, shecould serve them better than me, that am no sae young as I hae been, Mr.Butler, and a wee bit short in the temper into the bargain. For whenthere's ower mony folks crying on me at anes, and nane but ae tongue toanswer them, folk maun speak hastily, or they'll ne'er get through theirwark--Sae I miss Effie daily."

  "_De die in diem,_" added Saddletree.

  "I think," said Butler, after a good deal of hesitation, "I have seen thegirl in the shop--a modest-looking, fair-haired girl?"

  "Ay, ay, that's just puir Effie," said her mistress. "How she wasabandoned to hersell, or whether she was sackless o' the sinful deed, Godin Heaven knows; but if she's been guilty, she's been sair tempted, and Iwad amaist take m
y Bible-aith she hasna been hersell at the time."

  Butler had by this time become much agitated; he fidgeted up and down theshop, and showed the greatest agitation that a person of such strictdecorum could be supposed to give way to. "Was not this girl," he said,"the daughter of David Deans, that had the parks at St. Leonard's taken?and has she not a sister?"

  "In troth has she,--puir Jeanie Deans, ten years aulder than hersell; shewas here greeting a wee while syne about her tittie. And what could I sayto her, but that she behoved to come and speak to Mr. Saddletree when hewas at hame? It wasna that I thought Mr. Saddletree could do her or onyither body muckle good or ill, but it wad aye serve to keep the puirthing's heart up for a wee while; and let sorrow come when sorrow maun."

  "Ye're mistaen though, gudewife," said Saddletree scornfully, "for Icould hae gien her great satisfaction; I could hae proved to her that hersister was indicted upon the statute saxteen hundred and ninety, chapterone--For the mair ready prevention of child-murder--for concealing herpregnancy, and giving no account of the child which she had borne."

  "I hope," said Butler,--"I trust in a gracious God, that she can clearherself."

  "And sae do I, Mr. Butler," replied Mrs. Saddletree. "I am sure I wad haeanswered for her as my ain daughter; but wae's my heart, I had beentender a' the simmer, and scarce ower the door o' my room for twal weeks.And as for Mr. Saddletree, he might be in a lying-in hospital, and ne'erfind out what the women cam there for. Sae I could see little or naethingo' her, or I wad hae had the truth o' her situation out o' her, I'sewarrant ye--But we a' think her sister maun be able to speak something toclear her."

  "The haill Parliament House," said Saddletree, "was speaking o' naethingelse, till this job o' Porteous's put it out o' head--It's a beautifulpoint of presumptive murder, and there's been nane like it in theJusticiar Court since the case of Luckie Smith the howdie, that sufferedin the year saxteen hundred and seventy-nine."

  "But what's the matter wi' you, Mr. Butler?" said the good woman; "ye arelooking as white as a sheet; will ye tak a dram?"

  "By no means," said Butler, compelling himself to speak. "I walked infrom Dumfries yesterday, and this is a warm day."

  "Sit down," said Mrs. Saddletree, laying hands on him kindly, "and restye--yell kill yoursell, man, at that rate.--And are we to wish you joy o'getting the scule, Mr. Butler?"

  "Yes--no--I do not know," answered the young man vaguely. But Mrs.Saddletree kept him to point, partly out of real interest, partly fromcuriosity.

  "Ye dinna ken whether ye are to get the free scule o' Dumfries or no,after hinging on and teaching it a' the simmer?"

  "No, Mrs. Saddletree--I am not to have it," replied Butler, morecollectedly. "The Laird of Black-at-the-Bane had a natural son bred tothe kirk, that the Presbytery could not be prevailed upon to license; andso"

  "Ay, ye need say nae mair about it; if there was a laird that had a puirkinsman or a bastard that it wad suit, there's enough said.--And ye'ree'en come back to Liberton to wait for dead men's shoon?--and for asfrail as Mr. Whackbairn is, he may live as lang as you, that are hisassistant and successor."

  "Very like," replied Butler, with a sigh; "I do not know if I should wishit otherwise."

  "Nae doubt, it's a very vexing thing," continued the good lady, "to be inthat dependent station; and you that hae right and title to sae mucklebetter, I wonder how ye bear these crosses."

  "_Quos diligit castigat,_" answered Butler; "even the pagan Seneca couldsee an advantage in affliction, The Heathens had their philosophy, andthe Jews their revelation, Mrs. Saddletree, and they endured theirdistresses in their day. Christians have a better dispensation thaneither--but doubtless"

  He stopped and sighed.

  "I ken what ye mean," said Mrs. Saddletree, looking toward her husband;"there's whiles we lose patience in spite of baith book and Bible--But yeare no gaun awa, and looking sae poorly--ye'll stay and take some kalewi' us?"

  Mr. Saddletree laid aside Balfour's Practiques (his favourite study, andmuch good may it do him), to join in his wife's hospitable importunity.But the teacher declined all entreaty, and took his leave upon the spot.

  "There's something in a' this," said Mrs. Saddletree, looking after himas he walked up the street; "I wonder what makes Mr. Butler saedistressed about Effie's misfortune--there was nae acquaintance atweenthem that ever I saw or heard of; but they were neighbours when DavidDeans was on the Laird o' Dumbiedikes' land. Mr. Butler wad ken herfather, or some o' her folk.--Get up, Mr. Saddletree--ye have setyoursell down on the very brecham that wants stitching--and here's littleWillie, the prentice.--Ye little rin-there-out deil that ye are, whattakes you raking through the gutters to see folk hangit?--how wad ye likewhen it comes to be your ain chance, as I winna ensure ye, if ye dinnamend your manners?--And what are ye maundering and greeting for, as if aword were breaking your banes?--Gang in by, and be a better bairn anothertime, and tell Peggy to gie ye a bicker o' broth, for ye'll be as gleg asa gled, I'se warrant ye.--It's a fatherless bairn, Mr. Saddletree, andmotherless, whilk in some cases may be waur, and ane would take care o'him if they could--it's a Christian duty."

  "Very true, gudewife," said Saddletree in reply, "we are _in locoparentis_ to him during his years of pupillarity, and I hae had thoughtsof applying to the Court for a commission as factor _loco tutoris,_seeing there is nae tutor nominate, and the tutor-at-law declines to act;but only I fear the expense of the procedure wad not be _in rem versam,_for I am not aware if Willie has ony effects whereof to assume theadministration."

  He concluded this sentence with a self-important cough, as one who haslaid down the law in an indisputable manner.

  "Effects!" said Mrs. Saddletree, "what effects has the puir wean?--he wasin rags when his mother died; and the blue polonie that Effie made forhim out of an auld mantle of my ain, was the first decent dress the bairnever had on. Poor Effie! can ye tell me now really, wi' a' your law, willher life be in danger, Mr. Saddletree, when they arena able to prove thatever there was a bairn ava?"

  "Whoy," said Mr. Saddletree, delighted at having for once in his lifeseen his wife's attention arrested by a topic of legal discussion--"Whoy,there are two sorts of _murdrum_ or _murdragium,_ or what you_populariter et vulgariser_ call murther. I mean there are many sorts;for there's your _murthrum per vigilias et insidias,_ and your _murthrum_under trust."

  "I am sure," replied his moiety, "that murther by trust is the way thatthe gentry murther us merchants, and whiles make us shut the boothup--but that has naething to do wi' Effie's misfortune."

  "The case of Effie (or Euphemia) Deans," resumed Saddletree, "is one ofthose cases of murder presumptive, that is, a murder of the law'sinferring or construction, being derived from certain _indicia_ orgrounds of suspicion."

  "So that," said the good woman, "unless poor Effie has communicated hersituation, she'll be hanged by the neck, if the bairn was still-born, orif it be alive at this moment?"

  "Assuredly," said Saddletree, "it being a statute made by our SovereignLord and Lady, to prevent the horrid delict of bringing forth children insecret--The crime is rather a favourite of the law, this species ofmurther being one of its ain creation."

  "Then, if the law makes murders," said Mrs. Saddletree, "the law shouldbe hanged for them; or if they wad hang a lawyer instead, the country wadfind nae faut."

  A summons to their frugal dinner interrupted the farther progress of theconversation, which was otherwise like to take a turn much lessfavourable to the science of jurisprudence and its professors, than Mr.Bartoline Saddletree, the fond admirer of both, had at its openinganticipated.