St. Ronan's Well Read online

  CHAPTER XI.

  INTRUSION.

  By my troth, I will go with thee to the lane's-end!--I am a kind of burr--I shall stick.

  _Measure for Measure._

  It was now far advanced in autumn. The dew lay thick on the long grass,where it was touched by the sun; but where the sward lay in shadow, itwas covered with hoar frost, and crisped under Jekyl's foot, as hereturned through the woods of St. Ronan's. The leaves of the ash-treesdetached themselves from the branches, and, without an air of wind, fellspontaneously on the path. The mists still lay lazily upon the heights,and the huge old tower of St. Ronan's was entirely shrouded with vapour,except where a sunbeam, struggling with the mist, penetrated into itswreath so far as to show a projecting turret upon one of the angles ofthe old fortress, which, long a favourite haunt of the raven, waspopularly called the Corbie's Tower. Beneath, the scene was open andlightsome, and the robin redbreast was chirping his best, to atone forthe absence of all other choristers. The fine foliage of autumn was seenin many a glade, running up the sides of each little ravine, russet-huedand golden-specked, and tinged frequently with the red hues of themountain-ash; while here and there a huge old fir, the native growth ofthe soil, flung his broad shadow over the rest of the trees, and seemedto exult in the permanence of his dusky livery over the more showy, buttransitory brilliance by which he was surrounded.

  Such is the scene, which, so often described in prose and in poetry, yetseldom loses its effect upon the ear or upon the eye, and through whichwe wander with a strain of mind congenial to the decline of the year.There are few who do not feel the impression; and even Jekyl, thoughbred to far different pursuits than those most favourable to suchcontemplation, relaxed his pace to admire the uncommon beauty of thelandscape.

  Perhaps, also, he was in no hurry to rejoin the Earl of Etherington,towards whose service he felt himself more disinclined since hisinterview with Tyrrel. It was clear that that nobleman had not fullyreposed in his friend the confidence promised; he had not made him awareof the existence of those important documents of proof, on which thewhole fate of his negotiation appeared now to hinge, and in so far haddeceived him. Yet, when he pulled from his pocket, and re-read LordEtherington's explanatory letter, Jekyl could not help being moresensible than he had been on the first perusal, how much the presentpossessor of that title felt alarmed at his brother's claims; and he hadsome compassion for the natural feeling that must have rendered him shyof communicating at once the very worst view of his case, even to hismost confidential friend. Upon the whole, he remembered that LordEtherington had been his benefactor to an unusual extent; that, inreturn, he had promised the young nobleman his active and devotedassistance, in extricating him from the difficulties with which heseemed at present surrounded; that, in quality of his confidant, he hadbecome acquainted with the most secret transactions of his life; andthat it could only be some very strong cause indeed which could justifybreaking off from him at this moment. Yet he could not help wishingeither that his own obligations had been less, his friend's causebetter, or, at least, the friend himself more worthy of assistance.

  "A beautiful morning, sir, for such a foggy, d----d climate as this,"said a voice close by Jekyl's ear, which made him at once start out ofhis contemplation. He turned half round, and beside him stood our honestfriend Touchwood, his throat muffled in his large Indian handkerchief,huge gouty shoes thrust upon his feet, his bobwig well powdered, and thegold-headed cane in his hand, carried upright as a sergeant's halberd.One glance of contemptuous survey entitled Jekyl, according to hismodish ideas, to rank the old gentleman as a regular-built quiz, and totreat him as the young gentlemen of his Majesty's Guards thinkthemselves entitled to use every unfashionable variety of the humanspecies. A slight inclination of a bow, and a very cold "You have theadvantage of me, sir," dropped as it were unconsciously from his tongue,were meant to repress the old gentleman's advances, and moderate hisambition to be hail fellow well met with his betters. But Mr. Touchwoodwas callous to the intended rebuke; he had lived too much at large uponthe world, and was far too confident of his own merits, to take arepulse easily, or to permit his modesty to interfere with any purposewhich he had formed.

  "Advantage of you, sir?" he replied; "I have lived too long in the worldnot to keep all the advantages I have, and get all I can--and I reckonit one that I have overtaken you, and shall have the pleasure of yourcompany to the Well."

  "I should but interrupt your worthier meditations, sir," said the other;"besides, I am a modest young man, and think myself fit for no bettercompany than my own--moreover, I walk slow--very slow.--Good morning toyou, Mr. A--A--I believe my treacherous memory has let slip your name,sir."

  "My name!--Why your memory must have been like Pat Murtough's greyhound,that let the hare go before he caught it. You never heard my name inyour life. Touchwood is my name. What d'ye think of it, now you knowit?"

  "I am really no connoisseur in surnames," answered Jekyl: "and it isquite the same to me whether you call yourself Touchwood or Touchstone.Don't let me keep you from walking on, sir. You will find breakfast faradvanced at the Well, sir, and your walk has probably given you anappetite."

  "Which will serve me to luncheon-time, I promise you," said Touchwood;"I always drink my coffee as soon as my feet are in my pabouches--it'sthe way all over the East. Never trust my breakfast to their scaldingmilk-and-water at the Well, I assure you; and for walking slow, I havehad a touch of the gout."

  "Have you," said Jekyl; "I am sorry for that; because, if you have nomind to breakfast, I have--and so, Mr. Touchstone, good-morrow to you."

  But, although the young soldier went off at double quick time, hispertinacious attendant kept close by his side, displaying an activitywhich seemed inconsistent with his make and his years, and talking awaythe whole time, so as to show that his lungs were not in the leastdegree incommoded by the unusual rapidity of motion.

  "Nay, young gentleman, if you are for a good smart walk, I am for you,and the gout may be d--d. You are a lucky fellow to have youth on yourside; but yet, so far as between the Aultoun and the Well, I think Icould walk you for your sum, barring running--all heel and toe--equalweight, and I would match Barclay himself for a mile."

  "Upon my word, you are a gay old gentleman!" said Jekyl, relaxing hispace; "and if we must be fellow-travellers, though I can see no greatoccasion for it, I must even shorten sail for you."

  So saying, and as if another means of deliverance had occurred to him,he slackened his pace, took out a morocco case of cigars, and, lightingone with his _briquet_, said, while he walked on, and bestowed as muchof its fragrance as he could upon the face of his intrusive companion,"Vergeben sie, mein herr--ich bin erzogen in kaiserlicher dienst--mussrauchen ein kleine wenig."[II-6]

  "Rauchen sie immer fort," said Touchwood, producing a huge meerschaum,which, suspended by a chain from his neck, lurked in the bosom of hiscoat, "habe auch mein pfeichen--Sehen sie den lieben topf!"[II-7] and hebegan to return the smoke, if not the fire, of his companion, in fullvolumes, and with interest.

  "The devil take the twaddle," said Jekyl to himself, "he is too old andtoo fat to be treated after the manner of Professor Jackson; and, on mylife, I cannot tell what to make of him.--He is a residenter too--I musttip him the cold shoulder, or he will be pestering me eternally."

  Accordingly, he walked on, sucking his cigar, and apparently in asabstracted a mood as Mr. Cargill himself, without paying the leastattention to Touchwood, who, nevertheless, continued talking, as if hehad been addressing the most attentive listener in Scotland, whether itwere the favourite nephew of a cross, old, rich bachelor, or theaid-de-camp of some old rusty firelock of a general, who tells storiesof the American war.

  "And so, sir, I can put up with any companion at a pinch, for I havetravelled in all sorts of ways, from a caravan down to a carrier's cart;but the best society is the best every where; and I am happy I havefallen in with a gentleman who suits me so well as you.--That grave,steady attention of yours r
eminds me of Elfi Bey--you might talk to himin English, or any thing he understood least of--you might have readAristotle to Elfi, and not a muscle would he stir--give him his pipe,and he would sit on his cushion with a listening air as if he took inevery word of what you said."

  Captain Jekyl threw away the remnant of his cigar, with a littlemovement of pettishness, and began to whistle an opera air.

  "There again, now!--That is just so like the Marquis of Roccombole,another dear friend of mine, that whistles all the time you talk tohim--He says he learned it in the Reign of Terror, when a man was gladto whistle to show his throat was whole. And, talking of great folk,what do you think of this affair between Lord Etherington and hisbrother, or cousin, as some folk call him?"

  Jekyl absolutely started at the question; a degree of emotion, which,had it been witnessed by any of his fashionable friends, would for everhave ruined his pretensions to rank in the first order.

  "What affair?" he asked, so soon as he could command a certain degree ofcomposure.

  "Why, you know the news surely? Francis Tyrrel, whom all the companyvoted a coward the other day, turns out as brave a fellow as any of us;for, instead of having run away to avoid having his own throat cut bySir Bingo Binks, he was at the very moment engaged in a gallant attemptto murder his elder brother, or his more lawful brother, or his cousin,or some such near relation."

  "I believe you are misinformed, sir," said Jekyl dryly, and thenresumed, as deftly as he could, his proper character of a pococurante.

  "I am told," continued Touchwood, "one Jekyl acted as a second to themboth on the occasion--a proper fellow, sir--one of those fine gentlemenwhom we pay for polishing the pavement in Bond Street, and looking at athick shoe and a pair of worsted stockings, as if the wearer were noneof their paymasters. However, I believe the Commander-in-Chief is liketo discard him when he hears what has happened."

  "Sir!" said Jekyl, fiercely--then, recollecting the folly of being angrywith an original of his companion's description, he proceeded morecoolly, "You are misinformed--Captain Jekyl knew nothing of any suchmatter as you refer to--you talk of a person you know nothingof--Captain Jekyl is----(Here he stopped a little, scandalized, perhaps,at the very idea of vindicating himself to such a personage from such acharge.)

  "Ay, ay," said the traveller, filling up the chasm in his own way, "heis not worth our talking of, certainly--but I believe he knew as much ofthe matter as either you or I do, for all that."

  "Sir, this is either a very great mistake, or wilful impertinence,"answered the officer. "However absurd or intrusive you may be, I cannotallow you, either in ignorance or incivility, to use the name of CaptainJekyl with disrespect.--I am Captain Jekyl, sir."

  "Very like, very like," said Touchwood, with the most provokingindifference; "I guessed as much before."

  "Then, sir, you may guess what is likely to follow, when a gentlemanhears himself unwarrantably and unjustly slandered," replied CaptainJekyl, surprised and provoked that his annunciation of name and rankseemed to be treated so lightly. "I advise you, sir, not to proceed toofar upon the immunities of your age and insignificance."

  "I never presume farther than I have good reason to think necessary,Captain Jekyl," answered Touchwood, with great composure. "I am too old,as you say, for any such idiotical business as a duel, which no nation Iknow of practises but our silly fools of Europe--and then, as for yourswitch, which you are grasping with so much dignity, that is totally outof the question. Look you, young gentleman; four-fifths of my life havebeen spent among men who do not set a man's life at the value of abutton on his collar--every person learns, in such cases, to protecthimself as he can; and whoever strikes me must stand to theconsequences. I have always a brace of bull-dogs about me, which put ageand youth on a level. So suppose me horsewhipped, and pray, at the sametime, suppose yourself shot through the body. The same exertion ofimagination will serve for both purposes."

  So saying, he exhibited a very handsome, highly finished, andrichly-mounted pair of pistols.

  "Catch me without my tools," said he, significantly buttoning his coatover the arms, which were concealed in a side-pocket, ingeniouslycontrived for that purpose. "I see you do not know what to make of me,"he continued, in a familiar and confidential tone; "but, to tell you thetruth, everybody that has meddled in this St. Ronan's business is alittle off the hooks--something of a _tete exaltee_, in plain words, alittle crazy, or so; and I do not affect to be much wiser than otherpeople."

  "Sir," said Jekyl, "your manners and discourse are so unprecedented,that I must ask your meaning plainly and decidedly--Do you mean toinsult me or no?"

  "No insult at all, young gentleman--all fair meaning, and above board--Ionly wished to let you know what the world may say, that is all."

  "Sir," said Jekyl, hastily, "the world may tell what lies it pleases;but I was not present at the rencontre between Etherington and Mr.Tyrrel--I was some hundred miles off."

  "There now," said Touchwood, "there _was_ a rencontre between them--thevery thing I wanted to know."

  "Sir," said Jekyl, aware too late that, in his haste to vindicatehimself, he had committed his friend, "I desire you will found nothingon an expression hastily used to vindicate myself from a falseaspersion--I only meant to say, if there was an affair such as you talkof, I knew nothing of it."

  "Never mind--never mind--I shall make no bad use of what I havelearned," said Touchwood. "Were you to eat your words with the bestfish-sauce, (and that is Burgess's,) I have got all the information fromthem I wanted."

  "You are strangely pertinacious, sir," replied Jekyl.

  "O, a rock, a piece of flint for that--What I have learned, I havelearned, but I will make no bad use of it.--Hark ye, Captain, I have nomalice against your friend--perhaps the contrary--but he is in a badcourse, sir--has kept a false reckoning, for as deep as he thinkshimself; and I tell you so, because I hold you (your finery out of thequestion) to be, as Hamlet says, indifferent honest; but, if you werenot, why necessity is necessity; and a man will take a Bedouin for hisguide in the desert, whom he would not trust with an aspar in thecultivated field; so I think of reposing some confidence in you--havenot made up my mind yet, though."

  "On my word, sir, I am greatly flattered both by your intentions andyour hesitation," said Captain Jekyl. "You were pleased to say just now,that every one concerned with these matters was something particular."

  "Ay, ay--something crazy--a little mad, or so. That was what I said, andI can prove it."

  "I should be glad to hear the proof," said Jekyl--"I hope you do notexcept yourself?"

  "Oh! by no means," answered Touchwood; "I am one of the maddest old boysever slept out of straw, or went loose. But you can put fishingquestions in your turn, Captain, I see that--you would fain know howmuch, or how little, I am in all these secrets. Well, that is ashereafter may be. In the meantime, here are my proofs.--Old ScrogieMowbray was mad, to like the sound of Mowbray better than that ofScrogie; young Scrogie was mad, not to like it as well. The old Earl ofEtherington was not sane when he married a French wife in secret, anddevilish mad indeed when he married an English one in public. Then forthe good folk here, Mowbray of St. Ronan's is cracked, when he wishes togive his sister to he knows not precisely whom: She is a fool not totake him, because she _does_ know who he is, and what has been betweenthem; and your friend is maddest of all, who seeks her under so heavy apenalty:--and you and I, Captain, go mad gratis, for company's sake,when we mix ourselves with such a mess of folly and frenzy."

  "Really, sir, all that you have said is an absolute riddle to me,"replied the embarrassed Jekyl.

  "Riddles may be read," said Touchwood, nodding; "if you have any desireto read mine, pray, take notice, that this being our first interview, Ihave exerted myself _faire les frais du conversation_, as Jack Frenchmansays; if you want another, you may come to Mrs. Dods's at the CleikumInn, any day before Saturday, at four precisely, when you will find noneof your half-starved, long-limbed bundles of bones, which you callpoultr
y at the table-d'hote, but a right Chitty-gong fowl!--I got Mrs.Dods the breed from old Ben Vandewash, the Dutch broker--stewed to aminute, with rice and mushrooms.--If you can eat without a silver fork,and your appetite serves you, you shall be welcome--that's all.--So,good morning to you, good master lieutenant, for a captain of the Guardsis but a lieutenant after all."

  So saying, and ere Jekyl could make any answer, the old gentleman turnedshort off into a path which led to the healing fountain, branching awayfrom that which conducted to the Hotel.

  Uncertain with whom he had been holding a conversation so strange, Jekylremained looking after him, until his attention was roused by a littleboy, who crept out from an adjoining thicket, with a switch in his hand,which he had been just cutting,--probably against regulations to thecontrary effect made and provided, for he held himself ready to takecover in the copse again, in case any one were in sight who might beinterested in chastising his delinquency. Captain Jekyl easilyrecognised in him one of that hopeful class of imps, who pick up aprecarious livelihood about places of public resort, by going errands,brushing shoes, doing the groom's and coachman's work in the stables,driving donkeys, opening gates, and so forth, for about one-tenth partof their time, spending the rest in gambling, sleeping in the sun, andotherwise qualifying themselves to exercise the profession of thievesand pickpockets, either separately, or in conjunction with those ofwaiters, grooms, and postilions. The little outcast had an indifferentpair of pantaloons, and about half a jacket, for, like Pentapolin withthe naked arm, he went on action with his right shoulder bare; a thirdpart of what had once been a hat covered his hair, bleached white withthe sun, and his face, as brown as a berry, was illuminated by a pair ofeyes, which, for spying out either peril or profit, might have rivalledthose of the hawk.--In a word, it was the original Puck of the Shawsdramaticals.

  "Come hither, ye unhanged whelp," said Jekyl, "and tell me if you knowthe old gentleman that passed down the walk just now--yonder he is,still in sight."

  "It is the Naboab," said the boy; "I could swear to his back among allthe backs at the Waal, your honour."

  "What do you call a Nabob, you varlet?"

  "A Naboab--a Naboab?" answered the scout; "odd, I believe it is anecomes frae foreign parts, with mair siller than his pouches can haud,and spills it a' through the country--they are as yellow as orangers,and maun hae a' thing their ain gate."

  "And what is this Naboab's name, as you call him?" demanded Jekyl.

  "His name is Touchwood," said his informer; "ye may see him at the Waalevery morning."

  "I have not seen him at the ordinary."

  "Na, na," answered the boy; "he is a queer auld cull, he disna frequentwi' other folk, but lives upby at the Cleikum.--He gave me half-a-crownyince, and forbade me to play it awa' at pitch and toss."

  "And you disobeyed him, of course?"

  "Na, I didna dis-obeyed him--I played it awa' atneevie-neevie-nick-nack."

  "Well, there is sixpence for thee; lose it to the devil in any way thouthink'st proper."

  So saying he gave the little galopin his donative, and a slight rap onthe pate at the same time, which sent him scouring from his presence. Hehimself hastened to Lord Etherington's apartments, and, as luck wouldhave it, found the Earl alone.

  FOOTNOTES:

  [II-6] Forgive me, sir, I was bred in the Imperial service, and must smokea little.

  [II-7] Smoke as much as you please; I have got my pipe, too.--See what abeautiful head!